Musashino Musings

The house-hunting in Japan appears to be nearing its conclusion, for better or worse. Communications with the missus have been extremely tense. She's obviously feeling the strain of making probably the biggest decision of her life, but in the process it has thrown the innermost workings of her mind in stark relief. I once attended a management training course - total waste of time, of course. But one thing I do remember was the guy telling us a story about a fire in the engine room of a merchant ship at sea.

Virtually every nationality under the sun was represented in the crew, and although they could all speak English, as the fire took hold and the panic set in, they all reverted to screaming instructions at each other in their native tongues. The phrase was, "the language of panic is your own." Very true. Under pressure, most people will revert to type and it is under these circumstances that the true character is revealed.

For my part, well I can't really comment objectively. In the past, when I've had difficult times at work I've just told the boss to stick it and walked out. But not always, and if I'm really committed to something I will always see it through to the end. For the missus, I think deep down she cannot trust anyone. When she's under pressure, she is extremely sensitive - bordering on paranoid - to any sign that she is going to be ripped off or let down. She can be vicious in her condemnations, and is nearly impossible to deal with. Such was the case this week.

I don't know what the future holds - will we pull it off and settle in Japan? It's impossible to say. I feel scared but also committed. I want the experience of living in a foreign country; I want to absorb more Japanese culture and learn from it. And of course, I want to be with the only girl I have ever truly loved, or will ever love. There is a Japanese proverb that says, "He who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one". I hope that's true